Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

Jakarta Girl

Loud mouth, egotistical, confident American,
City Boy, Mamma’s Boy, Once In A Lifetime Mark,
Hates Tuxedos, prefers khakis, loves sweat pants,
Swears like a Sailor, memorized Shakespeare,

[Her] mother and father imagined a respectful subtle Indonesian,
Shy and Quiet, maybe a Doctor, if she was lucky a Banker,
Prayed for Chinky babies, able to speak multiple languages,
Mathematical geniuses, brown skin, conservative, religious,

Instead…

[She] fell in love with a White Walker, pale skin, red, white, and blue,
Mother-in-law asked ‘do your people live in Igloos’ before googling Minnesota,
Requested a copy of my passport, social security number, and lineage,
Parents emphasized [she] could marry anyone; yet married a broke Minnesotan,

Loud mouth, egotistical, confident American,
City Boy, Mamma’s Boy, Once In A Lifetime Mark,
Hates Tuxedos, prefers khakis, loves sweat pants,
Swears like a Sailor, memorized Shakespeare,

Funniest moments when cultures clash,
Standing in line waiting for [the] cashier to motion us forward,
Somebody cuts in line without noticing [the] line,
Jakarta etiquette teaches women to talk softly [towards men],
Minnesotan City Boy takes off his headphones,

“Douche-bag, you cut in front of us, Eh” (Minnesota Nice Is A Lie)

[She] shops for deals, specials, and price cuts,
Checks [the] grocery receipt line by line,
Ordered [me] to stop buying clothes because our closet is full,
Doesn’t matter how close the poverty line is in relationship to our bank account,
American wives are Queens of the American Household,

Loud mouth, egotistical, confident American,
City Boy, Mamma’s Boy, Once In A Lifetime Mark,
Hates Tuxedos, prefers khakis, loves sweat pants,
Swears like a Sailor, memorized Shakespeare,

Taught to serve both in the kitchen and in the bedroom,
Afraid to disappoint, asks on a daily basis if everything is Ok,
Government refuses to sex educate so Indonesian girls watch pornographic movies,
Visited Mall of America; asked if she would like to play dress up in [a] Victoria Secret dressing room,
One hand on the steering wheel another between her legs,

Whether it was meant to be, or fate playing a prank,
Neither of us want anyone or anything else,
We both are satisfied with each other,
Including my foul sailor language,
[And] the space between her teeth,

Loud mouth, egotistical, confident American,
City Boy, Mamma’s Boy, Once In A Lifetime Mark,
Hates Tuxedos, prefers khakis, loves sweat pants,
Swears like a Sailor, memorized Shakespeare,

Faith · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Personal Battles · Unique · Youth

[A] Clean Knock-Out

Forgetful dreams, wishful thinking,
Missing love, after [it] leaves,
Crying daily, glorious scars,
In the Now, waving goodbye,

If I had known, I wouldn’t of driven high,
If I had known, I wouldn’t of driven drunk,
If I had known, I would of never touched [a] bottle,
If I had known, I would of never smoked [a] blunt,

Constant state of confusion,
What is living, if one does not;
Smoke, fuck, and drink,
Promote civil disobedience,
Seek knowledge from Hunter Thompson,

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

Forgetful dreams, wishful thinking,
Missing love, after [it] leaves,
Crying daily, glorious scars,
In the Now, waving goodbye,

Samuel watches Tyson matches on repeat,
Makes love to Sam Cooke Vinyls nightly,
Prefers cooking shows over action movies,
Women around him appreciate his philosophy,
Emotional & physical & spiritual empowerment,

Isabel learned how to defend herself at a young age,
Mixed martial artist; enjoys the inside of a cage,
Comfortable in both high heels and 6 ounce gloves,
Gives one hundred in order to please [her] lover,
Pain, bruises, and a clean knockout over make-up,

Forgetful dreams, wishful thinking,
Missing love, after [it] leaves,
Crying daily, glorious scars,
In the Now, waving goodbye,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

Bi-Sexuality (Truths of the Century)

‘You have a preference, don’t you’,
‘You are going through a phase, don’t worry’,
‘Your gay, you just don’t know it yet’,
‘Choose one, stop being greedy’,
‘You must have sex all the time’,,
‘So do you wanna’ have a three-some’,
‘Would you say you are more straight or gay’,
‘You know bi-sexuality isn’t real’,

Common misconceptions similar to the foundation of a home,
When you destroy one pillar the rest of the foundation crumbles,
Human beings were not born as boxed-in-absolute creatures,
Neither 100 percent straight nor 100 percent gay,
Sexuality sits upon a scale; feelings and emotions,
One day he or she may bump into a gorgeous man, the next a beautiful woman,
Attracted to both, intimate feelings, grinding underneath bed-sheets,

Able to describe her smile that of Ali’s when he knocked out Sunny Liston,
Able to describe her up-side-down spoon shape when she requests reverse cowgirl,
Able to describe her thighs as mother nature’s reminder to men that we are the weaker of sex (pregnancy???)

Doesn’t matter if people accept or deny [his or her] character,
We do not live for a stranger’s happiness but our own,
Happiness kissing another man despite the rise of Islamophobia,
Held in a gay black man’s arms (he or she doesn’t need permission),
Call him greedy if he leaves his boyfriend for a bi-woman,
Best feeling in the world when he is able to paint a trans Mona Lisa,
Beautiful curves as well as strong hands arouse him,

Able to paint his waist holding greater potential compared to Shakira’s Hips Don’t Lie,
Able to paint his chest as the warmest blanket on a cold winter day in New York City (below zero),
Able to paint his genitalia as the key to unlocking world peace during the Queer Pride Parade,

While the sun sets more and more homeless youth commit suicide,
Never accepted by family, young women enjoy another woman’s paradise,
Told they must stop being gay, or leave and never return,
Sons caught jerking off [gay magazines] faced with the same ultimatum,
Bi-sexual men and women told they must pick one or the other,
Greedy, selfish; just a phase; smart move coming out as bi to your parents,
Unfaithfulness does not increase just because he or she is bi-sexual,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

HSP (Hyper Sensitive Person)

Being a minority does not mean you are an anomaly,
Being that the majority call themselves ‘normal’,

Everyday is a wall painted in 10 different colors,
When floorboards bleed we hear tear-drops fall,
We speak wildly in the ear of traveling winds,
Trying so hard to keep our head above water,
Promising ‘we don’t wish to die’ today,

If we are happy, we fly high in the air,
If we are sad, we feel everything crumbling around us,

Easily fatigued after walking 10 minutes Downtown,
Able to write poems about suicide and holidays,
Creatively heart-broken, imagination runs free,
Told over and over to ‘just calm down’,
Before jumping off the Golden Gate,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

Monsters Aren’t Limited To Closets

There are certain behaviors which need clarification,
No judgement, leave your ego outside before asking ‘why’,

For example, I overwork myself…

So that I don’t remember,
So that I don’t relive memory after memory,
So that I don’t suffer from flashbacks,
So that I don’t wake up from night terrors,
So that I don’t hear voices,

Ingrained in my mind; my mother’s body,
Blue lips, cold skin, pale face,
Ingrained in my mind; the night my father died,
Neighbors kicking down our bathroom door,
Ingrained in my mind are needles,
P-T-S-D symptoms,

Would rather work overnights instead of sleeping at midnight,
Afraid of bombs dropping overhead,
Do you hear mothers screaming for help?
Children missing,
Labelled as collateral damage,

There are certain behaviors which need clarification,
No judgement, leave your ego outside before asking ‘why’,

Biological father returned,
Number of times he touched me,
Don’t tell me, I have to forget and forgive,
Stranger rapped me in a mosque parking lot,
Surprised me from behind,
Broke me and left me scarred,

Type of pain rape causes,
Society teaches men have to be strong,
Impossible for a man to be rapped,
He should be strong and fight back,
Now I walk with my back against hallway walls,

Cheap cologne,
Can’t stand grown men,
Impossible to trust,
Intentions never clear,

There are certain behaviors which need clarification,
No judgement, leave your ego outside before asking ‘why’,

Constantly on the move,
Can’t expect me to get over being rapped,
As a child between the ages of 5 to 9,
Sexually assaulted in college,
Watched bombs drop overseas,
Witnessed ceilings collapse on top of children,

Feel comfortable interacting with women,
Not in a flirtatious manner; rather,
‘I understand how dangerous it is to be a woman’,
We live in a society full closet monsters,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

My Success Due From Systematic Oppression

Some days I feel out of my mind,
Walking in a field full of land mines,
Asking for a glass of water so I can Shine,
On any ordinary day, I wouldn’t step out of line,
But today, another brother from another mother climbed,
When he reached the peak of the Mountain, He tried to fly,

Asking myself if I lived life to the fullest,
Questioning if my success had anything to do with Systematic Privilege,
Color of my skin dictated all the times my name climbed Interview Lists,
Even though half of the applicants were more qualified than I,
Was able to feed every hungry child under my roof,
Did it have anything to do with the fact I was paid more than a Black man,
If it couldn’t get any worse, darker complexion sisters were paid even less,
Was my success due to the fact White Privilege walked and talked without my permission,

Some days I feel out of my mind,
Walking in a field full of land mines,
Asking for a glass of water so I can Shine,
On any ordinary day, I wouldn’t step out of line,
But today, another brother from another mother climbed,
When he reached the peak of the Mountain, He tried to fly,

Wished my arm-span protected the frail, weak, sick, and mentally ill,
Believed I was meant for greatness, but it was established early I was a disgrace,
No matter how hard I tried, more and more Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, and Transgender youth committed suicide,
Didn’t matter how much I gave nor energy spent, felt like I was only making matters worse,
Quick to fight when words would have achieved successful revolution,
Used words when violent action such as self-defense was needed,
Couldn’t believe when my hands, my mind, and my heart spoke ill of God’s patience,
Questioned whether He left, became disappointed in His son,
Tell me I am wrong and not out of my mind,

Some days I feel out of my mind,
Walking in a field full of land mines,
Asking for a glass of water so I can Shine,
On any ordinary day, I wouldn’t step out of line,
But today, another brother from another mother climbed,
When he reached the peak of the Mountain, He tried to fly,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

#AllLivesMatter (What You Are Actually Saying)

When I hear #AllLivesMatter, this is what it sounds like:

You walked into an Emergency room, kicked a stroke victim out of their gurney,
Took their place, and told the nearest doctor,
“I got a sore back, all sicknesses should be treated the same”,

You attended a baseball game, saw 3 children standing behind the outfield fence,
Gave them all boxes to stand on, even though one of them was an adult midget,
When she asked for another box, you replied ‘just because your short,
Doesn’t mean you get more, everybody should receive the same treatment,

‘In a University Diversity Class, you stated ‘I don’t see color’,
I asked, ‘how do you distinguish between [a] green, yellow, and red light’,
Your reply, ‘blue lives matter’, my response, ‘blue is a color, not a person’,
‘I thought you said, you don’t see color’,

On Columbus Day, you sing the National Anthem, place your hand on your chest,
Inform immigrants ‘everybody is an American, thus we remember 9/11’,
If that is the case, why don’t you have a moment of silence for the Muslims,
Who worked in the World Trade Towers and were killed,

Tonight on the News, a German Shepard was ran over by a drunk driver,
The drunk driver’s cat was shot to death by a police officer,
You claim ‘the officer killed a cat in cold blood, he deserves life without parole’,

Would you ask for the same sentence if the cat was a Black man,
Your answer, “the cat was defenseless, but if the cat was a Black man,
The officer’s life would be in danger,