Faith · Hip Hop Influenced · Love · Personal Battles

Fitting Room Escapade

Cute face,
Check-out lane,
Aisle light,

Black dress,
Exotic goddess,
Brown curls,
Skin color,
Leprechaun’s Gold,
Thigh high boots,

Fitting room,
On my knees,
In seconds,
Eating pussy,

Smelled perfume,
Fell in love,
Gold Roses,
Silk panties,
Used my teeth,
Removed them,

One of her legs,
Extended around my neck,
Tongue stretching inward,
Hips grinding,
Weight of her body,
On my shoulders,

Grabbed my neck,
Pushed me onto the bench,
Dress fell to the floor,
Started riding,
Tongue maneuvered,
Nipples hard,

Sped up,
Ass clapped,
Titties bounced,
Felt an explosion,
Knocked out,
Awoke alone,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Unique · Youth

Choices (Stay or Leave)

Nobody needs perfect, nor is anybody Perfect,
Too may people trying to post a perfect clean Picture,
Wasting money receiving numbers, wearing too strong perfume,

Sadly though, this world is chaotic,
Busy being somebody else, instead of yourself,
When a good one shows, they never stood a chance,
Misery loves company, those shoes were meant for walking,

Scared of being true, so you have a list of names,
Why not throw them all away, start fresh,
Let me buy you a drink, two mojitos,
Fly to Cuba, smoke a Cuban cigar,

Nobody needs perfect, nor is anybody Perfect,
Too may people trying to post a perfect clean Picture,
Wasting money receiving numbers, wearing too strong perfume,

Meant to always be my baby, call me crazy,
Know what I’m thinking, when I’m waking up,
Short flings can’t measure, breakfast is served,
2 eggs, pancakes, and morning love, can’t stop kissing,

Tell me the truth if you are going to stay or go,
Every night disappearing, you thought I wouldn’t notice,
Truthfully, I was going to write vows, but not I’m confused,
Tell me honestly, will you stay the night or are you going to flee,

Nobody needs perfect, nor is anybody Perfect,
Too may people trying to post a perfect clean Picture,
Wasting money receiving numbers, wearing too strong perfume,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Unique · Youth

Number 1 Lady

Friends and family doubted us,
Said we weren’t a good fit,
3 years later everybody,
Asks for favors,

Debated whether to keep it a secret,
Impossible to keep it hush hush,
Tell the entire world,

Nightgowns and secrets,
Sharing closet space,
Unzipping zippers,
Swimming nightly,
Pum Pum fresh,

Sometimes we laugh,
Sometimes we cry,

Friends and family doubted us,
Said we weren’t a good fit,
3 years later everybody,
Asks for favors,

We belong together,
No matter what people say,
You are my only and I am your only,

Ready to take on the world,
Fuck whose against us,
We are happy,

Relying on one another,
No matter the danger ahead,
Role-playing an interrogation,

This love,
Followed by happiness,
Sometimes Momentary sadness,
Ending in tears and forgiveness,

Friends and family doubted us,
Said we weren’t a good fit,
3 years later everybody,
Asks for favors,

In the end we always,

Make-up,
Make-love,

We belong together,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

Dear Wife (My Indonesian Aisha)

If I were to speak honestly, it would be that marriage isn’t easy. Society glorifies it to be all love and romance but the truth is that it is about patience, making mistakes, and loving each other’s faults. Allah (s.w.t) reminds us in Qur’an that marriage is a fundamental part of our religion, our faith, our way of life.

And among His signs, is that He created you from mates from among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and he has put love and mercy between you hearts; verily in that are signs for those who reflect} (Quran, Surat Al Rum, 21)

Even though we argue, see things differently due to cultural differences and a language barrier. I love you! So much so, while you are at work I think of you constantly. Imagining what you are doing and wishing time would speed up so that I can pick you from work. If I had to compare you to anyone that lived before. It would be Aisha (ra). Indeed, you are my Aisha. When we married, I completed my Deen (faith).

Yes, our life isn’t perfect. But, I would never trade in for another. My hope is that whenever one of your friends brings up another man, their own husband, or crush. You respond in the same way Aisha (ra) did to Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) question.

This particular hadith encompasses 11 women describing their husbands. The last woman talks about her husband Abu Zar who helped her escape a life of poverty. He treated her like a queen and made her very happy. However, he ended up divorcing her. The woman married again but stated the greatest thing her new husband has done for her doesn’t fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar.

The Prophet ﷺ was listening to Aishah’s (ra) stories and at the end said, “I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife. But he divorced her and I would never divorce you.”

“No, you are greater than Abu Zar,” replied Aisha (RA).

This is the kind of love I dream of us having. No marriage comes without arguments. Yet, I always know when you are angry. Indonesian culture teaches the same thing Islam does, which is to conceal anger and be polite. As this is a trait of a good Muslim. Would you like to know how I can tell when you are mad at me? Whenever you are angry you swear by the Lord of Abraham. And whenever you are happy, you say ‘I swear by the Lord of Mohammed’.

No matter how may times we fight, argue, or swear at each other. Love prevails! The fact is we would give each other our own hearts and lungs if the other needed them. We would jump in front of a bullet to save each other. These acts will always accomplish what anger can’t.

Just as Aisha (ra) and Prophet ﷺ would eat, we try to do the same. When we are eating chicken, you take a bite and then hand it to me. After I take a bite, I give it back to you. Same thing whenever we drink from a glass.

Just as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is buried in Masjid Anabawi in Madinah. A place he called home. I wish for us to do the same. Aisha (ra) dreamt three moons descended into her home. They were Prophet Muhammad, Abu Bakr, and Umar Ibn Al Khattab. All three men were buried next to each other. When I die, bury me next to your Father, Om Pit, and your Brother. I wish to be forever close to you in this world and the hereafter.

These are just a few reasons why I love you! You are my Aisha (ra). My Indonesian Aisha!

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Love · Personal Battles · Religious · Unique · Youth

Lord Give Me Strength

Respect is my Strength,
Lord help me stay Straight,
Everyday is Scared Straight,
Give me Guidance and Strength,

No matter the time,
How high the sun rises,
Enemies flank from all sides,
Fatherless once now he’s returned,
Mother drugged hit point of no return,
Left when the eviction notice was served,
When luck shows up everyone expects handouts,

Separating nightmares from work,
Keeping family close within arm’s length,
Privacy keeps contacts saved under fake names,
Alcohol Anonymous isn’t a mystery since you asked,
Been sober from poison since the last hospitalization,
Trying to hide hands that touched me in April from others,
Communicating with my sexual assault advocate on a daily basis,

Respect is my Strength,
Lord help me stay Straight,
Everyday is Scared Straight,
Give me Guidance and Strength,

Calling me a cheat without understanding,
Only thing I ever cheated on was a Math Test,
Haven’t fucked any other woman besides my Queen,
Conscience asked forgiveness from those I wronged,
Raised by my sister scared of men because of my father,
Majority of rapists are men would rather talk to sisters,

Getting up in the morning is a struggle,
Asking myself if it is worth being scared of shadows,
Afraid of being trapped in an elevator with a stranger,
Smell of Hennessy drives me crazy asking if I want a drink,
Asking the Lord for strength to say no carrying on with my day,
Never have I walked without falling but never have I stayed down,

Respect is my Strength,
Lord help me stay Straight,
Everyday is Scared Straight,
Give me Guidance and Strength,

Faith · Heroic · Hip Hop Influenced · Life · Religious · Unique · Youth

Never Bow

Momma’ raised me to never bow,
At the feet of imperfect people,
All dead and living Presidents,
Kardashians, Pop Icons, and Celebrities,
Fuck all of you and the clique you claim,

Never will you catch me,
Worshiping paper or the military,
Millionaires pretending to be billionaires,
Beyoncé, Kim, or Genocidal Presidents,

Only a fool would bow before imperfections,
Performing silicon surgeries seeking enhancements,
Busy praising chemical warfare of the body,
Chernobyl resides in Hollywood,

Momma’ taught me no matter the title,
Age or income bracket,
Treat everybody the same,
Bow your head, tip your hat,
Wipe with your left hand,

Momma’ raised me to never bow,
At the feet of imperfect people,
All dead and living Presidents,
Kardashians, Pop Icons, and Celebrities,
Fuck all of you and the clique you claim,

High horses hate honesty,
Caitlyn Jenner doesn’t deserve woman of the year,
Minority women discovering new chemical compounds,
Advancing nuclear science surrounded by men,
What has Caitlyn achieved besides a successful surgery?

Doesn’t matter how many zeros,
Boats or square feet,
Buying out establishments,
Short term happiness can’t compare or compete,
Worried about re-tweets when you should be worried about death,

Expecting flashes and attention,
How many years does make-up hide,
For every thousand you spend on non-essentials,
How many homeless could you feed and house,
We are waiting?

Momma’ raised me to never bow,
At the feet of imperfect people,
All dead and living Presidents,
Kardashians, Pop Icons, and Celebrities,
Fuck all of you and the clique you claim,