Mentally In Pain

When you are in over your head,
EVERYTHING becomes too much,
Even the little things,

Can’t hold sharp objects,
Fearing self-harm,
Afraid of crossing the street,
Might intentionally take the wrong step,

Turning on the shower-head,
Cleanliness becomes a 2 hour ordeal,
Hot water washing over mental wounds,
Crying tears,
Dreaming of a successful suicide,

Can’t tell me it is all in my head,
Not able to sleep,
Whispers coming from every corner of the room,
Squeezing my pillow for dear life,

Hiding under my covers,
As if that will shield me from this pain,
Can’t scream for help,
Don’t want to be institutionalized,

Medications are only temporary,
Supposed to act like an adult,
Yet, I feel like a child,
Afraid of monsters,

No matter how normal I pretend to be,
Regurgitating social cues from others,
I feel fake; am I an imposter?
If only they knew the truth,

If I am left alone,
My arms would be filled with scars,


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