If There Was A Knife In My House I Would Kill Myself

When someone asks why are you so sad,
Can’t understand why it is so hard to explain,
Why I am sadder than a motherfucker,

Whenever I see a motherfucker,
Sitting across the table from me,
Every motherfucker reminds me of the motherfucker,
Who raped me over a year ago,

Not only does every motherfucker look like an enemy,
Queen Bee doesn’t understand Borderline Personality Disorder,

Angry outbursts,
Low self-esteem,
Suicidal idolization,
Reality verse a fairytale,

Arguing everyday over the little things,
Doesn’t believe me when I tell her ‘I love you’,

Accuses me of having a terrible gaze,
Looking twice, sometimes three times,
Honestly, it has happened once or twice,

All I ask from you is don’t exaggerate,
Amount of times I’ve hallucinated Kat,
One hell of an angry dominatrix combined with the appearance of IT,
Has occurred far more times than me having a terrible gaze,

Asked for a Bahasa-Indonesian tudor,
Told it was an excuse to cheat,
Can’t a motherfucker desire more than pussy,

Told her it was for my education,
Dream of being accepted into a PhD program,
Can’t expect me to sit across from a motherfucker,

You can call me a motherfucker,
At least I’d know my place in this world,
It is confusing,
Not sure whether to follow sinister commands,

After every argument,
They tell me to grab the nearest sharp object,

Create my own version of the night sky,
Telling me it won’t hurt,
You’ll just bleed a little bit,