How I Feel – Schizoaffective Disorder

Everyday I wait for the Army of Darkness to rise,
Don’t need an Alarm because the voices set out to rape me,
Grab me, torture me, constant ring over my right shoulder,
If I had a revolver, I would cock it, make 1 wish,
Grab the mother of my future daughter, kiss them both,
Tell them it wasn’t anyone’s fault,

Blame these hallucinations, fucking dirty ass girl,
Climbs out of a South African well,
Could of swore she’s from The Ring,
Called her cousin, Stephen King you’re an asshole,
Now It follows me, grabs a knife,
Smiles, waves, and creeps,
Stands in the corner of every cafe,
Sits in empty chairs,
Enemies everywhere,
Trying to poison my drink,

This medication takes too long,
Can’t stop my mind from drowning,
If anything the doctor is to blame for my drowning,
Call it murder by a misunderstood illness,
Medication has me walking, thinking, lack of thought,
Got me zombified,
Lack of intellectual dreaming,

Every time I fight back,
Authorities call parental guidance,
Spousal abuse I swear,
Got me calling myself a monster,
A misunderstood creature,
Monster from the deep lagoon,

If I had more choices,
Thank God for the scenery,
It isn’t anything but dreary,
Wishing that others would understand me,
Not just be spectators laughing at my pain,

Ask what is wrong without judging,
All the voices in my head,
Wish they were silenced,
Grab a revolver,
Forcibly silencing them,
It is the only way,
Pop, Pop, Pop,


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