Smiling Outside, Crying When Alone

Where did You go? Why have You forsaken me?
You left without saying goodbye,
I have become paralyzed,

If you showed yourself last year,
I wouldn’t have tried to kill myself this year,
Given how dark it is, I might not be here next year,

Day after day, I sought your name,
Begged for You to release me,
Asked for a favor; too much pain and misery,

No answer, it was as if I knocked on your front door,
You saw me in the window, turned up the TV,
Drowned me out without realizing I was already drowning,

I am confused, what do you want from me?
Do you require for me to become a cripple,
No energy, unable to stand,

No matter how much I pray, how loud I ask,
You refuse to reply, why do You deny one of your children,
Stop wasting my time,

I’ve cried so many tears, lost so many years,
Foresee an end in sight, not because I am giving up,
Rather, I have ran out-of-body parts, they are all covered in scars,

You created me, saw something unique,
Today, I am different, unable to fulfill what you wrote,
If you decide to send a message; don’t waste your time,

You weren’t here when I needed You,
How come you think it is alright to show up late,
Come finish what you started, take me away so this pain doesn’t win,


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