How To Fall In Love With Your Soul-Mate

Step 1: Enter Details
Step 2: Click Login
Step 3: Open Chat
Step 4: Flirt
Step 5: Fall In Love
Step 6: Will you Marry Me?
Step 7: Wait for Answer
Step 8: Fly Half Way Across the World,
Step 9: Meet My Soul Mate
Step 10: Close Facebook

In theory, we chatted for 3 months,
But in reality, we married after our first date,
Flew half way across the world,
Just to marry my soulmate,
How did I know she was the one?
After a couple days of creeping,
Critiquing her Facebook profile,
Found a picture of her eating Pizza,
Her adorable no make-up applied face,
Eating my favorite food with a fork,
Knew she was the one so I bought a plane ticket,

Believe or not,
Our wedding day went like this,
We were picked up by her mother,
Dropped off at her uncles,
I was interviewed by her family,
While she prepared tea in the kitchen,
When did you become Muslim?
Are u Shia?
Who were the four Caliphs?
Why do you wanna’ marry Lili?
Are you ready for marriage?
What do you do for a living?

After I received approval,
Lili was ushered into a room full of women,
Her uncle walked alongside me to the mosque,
Afterwords he escorted me to his home,
I remember turning on the TV,
Eating food that was sitting out without permission,
Putting me feet up on his sofa as if I owned the place,
Lili’s uncle Om Pit asked,
Why is he acting this way?
Are all Americans like this?
She replied, ‘don’t be mad.
He is American. It was how he was raised.’

Her uncle prepared a feast,
We both were escorted to the Mosque,
Sat in a circle while the Imam read from the Qur’an,
Asked me If I wanted to marry Lili,
I replied ‘Yes’,
Her uncle agreed,
Gave me his blessing,
Signed a contract which included a 500 dollar [Dowry},
Sitting in the middle of a group of women,
My wife in an all white dress,
Same as her picture without a cubic centimeter of powder,
We were escorted to her uncle’s home once again,
Every King and Queen through-out history,
Wouldn’t have come close to the banquet Om Pit orchestrated,
Enough food to feed all of North Korea,

Our first night together,
Both of us were nervous,
[A] virgin and a stubborn American,
Not sure who was to make the first move,
Or how loud we could be due to the fact,
At the time we were living in a Muslim majority country,
What would happen if the neighbors heard us,
My thoughts were racing,
Asking myself is she is a freak, or conservative,
Would it matter?

The next morning we were exhausted,
Didn’t matter the time,
We were trying to create a baby,
As soon as we said ‘I do’,
In the living room, bedroom, and kitchen,
It was in Indonesia while sweating 24/7,
Realized why I love her,
Why she was my soulmate,
Both of us were and still are bat-shit-crazy,
And if anybody should fall in love and marry,
Well, it should be 2 bat-shit-crazy people,

How to fall in love with your Soul-Mate,

Step 1: Enter Details
Step 2: Click Login
Step 3: Open Chat
Step 4: Flirt
Step 5: Fall In Love
Step 6: Will you Marry Me?
Step 7: Wait for Answer
Step 8: Fly Half Way Across the World,
Step 9: Meet My Soul Mate
Step 10: Close Facebook

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