Dear Wife (My Indonesian Aisha)

If I were to speak honestly, it would be that marriage isn’t easy. Society glorifies it to be all love and romance but the truth is that it is about patience, making mistakes, and loving each other’s faults. Allah (s.w.t) reminds us in Qur’an that marriage is a fundamental part of our religion, our faith, our way of life.

And among His signs, is that He created you from mates from among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and he has put love and mercy between you hearts; verily in that are signs for those who reflect} (Quran, Surat Al Rum, 21)

Even though we argue, see things differently due to cultural differences and a language barrier. I love you! So much so, while you are at work I think of you constantly. Imagining what you are doing and wishing time would speed up so that I can pick you from work. If I had to compare you to anyone that lived before. It would be Aisha (ra). Indeed, you are my Aisha. When we married, I completed my Deen (faith).

Yes, our life isn’t perfect. But, I would never trade in for another. My hope is that whenever one of your friends brings up another man, their own husband, or crush. You respond in the same way Aisha (ra) did to Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) question.

This particular hadith encompasses 11 women describing their husbands. The last woman talks about her husband Abu Zar who helped her escape a life of poverty. He treated her like a queen and made her very happy. However, he ended up divorcing her. The woman married again but stated the greatest thing her new husband has done for her doesn’t fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar.

The Prophet ﷺ was listening to Aishah’s (ra) stories and at the end said, “I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife. But he divorced her and I would never divorce you.”

“No, you are greater than Abu Zar,” replied Aisha (RA).

This is the kind of love I dream of us having. No marriage comes without arguments. Yet, I always know when you are angry. Indonesian culture teaches the same thing Islam does, which is to conceal anger and be polite. As this is a trait of a good Muslim. Would you like to know how I can tell when you are mad at me? Whenever you are angry you swear by the Lord of Abraham. And whenever you are happy, you say ‘I swear by the Lord of Mohammed’.

No matter how may times we fight, argue, or swear at each other. Love prevails! The fact is we would give each other our own hearts and lungs if the other needed them. We would jump in front of a bullet to save each other. These acts will always accomplish what anger can’t.

Just as Aisha (ra) and Prophet ﷺ would eat, we try to do the same. When we are eating chicken, you take a bite and then hand it to me. After I take a bite, I give it back to you. Same thing whenever we drink from a glass.

Just as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is buried in Masjid Anabawi in Madinah. A place he called home. I wish for us to do the same. Aisha (ra) dreamt three moons descended into her home. They were Prophet Muhammad, Abu Bakr, and Umar Ibn Al Khattab. All three men were buried next to each other. When I die, bury me next to your Father, Om Pit, and your Brother. I wish to be forever close to you in this world and the hereafter.

These are just a few reasons why I love you! You are my Aisha (ra). My Indonesian Aisha!


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