Every now and then it is a good idea to reflect upon one’s life, choices we’ve made, and the improvements needed in order to live a healthy life. These past few days I started using nicotine patches. Not only have cigarettes negatively impacted the choices I’ve made but past vices such as alcohol, marijuana, beautiful women, and lack of self-control.
In the past, the only time I could write poetry was when I was as high as a kite, smoked at least half a pack of cigarettes, and/or had a bottle of alcohol by my side or in close proximity of my right hand. This was self-destructive. It caused spiritual, physical, and mental exhaustion.
My inability to write poetry has caused me to question if quitting such vices was a good decision. Not only have these vices lead to self-destructive behavior but the past few months haven’t made it any easier. As a graduate student working two part-time jobs (at least 65+ hours a week) and attending school full-time, I’m constantly on the move.
I am not complaining nor am I seeking pity. I am sharing this information because shit happens. Life is messy but what shapes us are the actions we take in order to defeat the enemy within (our ego).