#ILiveWithPTSD

Trigger: an act or event that initiates a reaction or series of reactions…

You don’t need to be a soldier or go to war,
You don’t need to kill an enemy combatant,

Suffering from struggle and carrying pain,
Witnessing a natural disaster,
Living in a country threatened by civil war,
Machetes stealing limbs,
Bombs dropping from above,
Victim of emotional and/or physical abuse,
Sexually assaulted whether young or old,
Forced to become a child soldier,

Worse part about living with PTSD are [the] triggers,
Daily nightmares keeping us from sleeping,
Dreams of sexual assault play over and over,
Sounds of plane engines overhead,
Smelling a similar cologne in the air the rapist wore,
Hearing the same song father played on the radio,
Everything organized accordingly moved without request,
Arrive home to papers in the wrong place,

Heal: to become whole or well again…

Wishing in the beginning life was over,
Couldn’t take the beatings from imaginary killers,
Shadows jumped from elevators,
Sat in the corner of cafes,

Healing had to take place or my father won,
If I didn’t visit a therapist society won,

Stigma of seeking help bullshit,
Not weak for visiting a therapist,
Only the brave are willing to seek shelter,
PTSD [is] not an illness one [can] just ‘get over’,

Dialogue and trust,
Loved ones don’t understand the pressure or weight,
If we could share or draw a picture,
Believe me, we would,

Persevere: continuing in the face of great difficulty…

Signs of improvement,
Relapsing [is] not a sign of weakness,
Slightest touch, slightest look,
Reading certain words,
Need to be alone,

Take it from someone who understands,
Someone who lives with PTSD,

Many times I visited my doctor,
Lied about an illness, received medication,
Debated killing myself everyday for several years,

If you wanna’ talk…
I am here…

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