Loneliness Is Often Nocturnal (L.I.O.N)

I am not trying to be heartless,
Don’t confuse helpless with hopeless,

In all honesty,
Feeling lonely,

When everything turns deadly…

7-year-old Tanya,
Slightly overweight,
Lazy eye,
Wears glasses,
Foreign smell,
Skin darker complexion,
Wears hand-me downs,
Parents dumpster dive nightly,

Teacher believes she is stupid,
Teacher believes she isn’t going anywhere,

Boys spit paper through a straw,
Every minute another bullet,
All the girls sit at the far end of the lunch room…

Nightly she practices math,
Father arrested for solicitation,
Mother not in the picture,

She sits at her desk,
Pencil weighs more than the world,
Weighs more than all her memories,

She tries to erase her past,
Write a new future,

All the fat jokes,
All the card-board box references,
All the monkey noises,

She takes her own life…
She wasn’t alone…
Nobody knew her name…

Loneliness takes more lives than World Wars and Terrorists,
Loneliness takes more lives than Gang Wars and Guns,

Imagine being forced to place your children in a boat,
Oceans more peaceful than the land you are from,
Thousands of miles separated between you and loved ones,

Two people love unconditionally,
Sleeping next to each other day after day,
Waking up next to the same person you went to bed with,

Sharing a bathroom,
Sharing a kitchen,
Sharing the tv remote,
Sharing smiles,
Sharing eye contact,

Holding each other while walking,
Kissing each other while crying,

Not knowing when the next time you will see them,
Not knowing when the next time you will touch them,

Husband and wife in the airport,
He escorts her to the security checkpoint,
Memories of walking along the beach,

Eating from the same plate,
Riding the same motorcycle,

Wife realizes the one she promised never to leave,
His weakness not distance,
Rather, it is being alone with no one to hold,
She learned of his orphan days,

Instead of it being a homeless 7-year-old girl…
It had been a homeless 7-year-old boy…


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