Treat Your Wife To Romance

If women of today,
If men of present day,
If we knew of, read about, or tried to care,
If marriage was ecstasy,

Pre-tease build up,
No dating or pre-marital sex,
Happiness and delight,
When a husband and wife meet for the first time,

If every day of marriage mirrors the first day,
If every night reflects the first night where it all began,
Marriage would be an euphoric experience until both leave earth….

Men of today not men like Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) nor his Companions,
We need patience and knowledge,
We need struggle and gain,
No matter how much we try,
We can’t duplicate nor replicate,
We only try and try again,

Husbands become ungrateful,
Women become forgetful,
Feeling the need to upgrade,
Feeling the need to take advantage,
Husband speaks badly about what she cooks,
Woman forgets what he has done,

We must understand Prophet Muhammad (pbuh,
Far to often we ignore how delicate he was,
Far to often we ignore how Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) treated his wives,

Husband and wife must strive to bond with one another,
Psychologically, physically, and spiritually,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam said to Aisha radiallahu anha:

“I know well when you are pleased or angry with me.
Aisha replied: How you know that?
He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad”,
But when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”.
She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”

[Source below]

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) paid close attention to Aisha’s (ra) words,
We must be aware of each other’s feelings,

Don’t be afraid to console,
Women described as fragile,
We cannot straighten something bent,
We hide behind strength,

Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam,
She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried to calm her down.

[Source below]

Wipe each other’s tears,
Wash each other at night,
Find comfort and solace,
Warmth and love,

Common practice,
Lay with one another,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would recline in the lap of Aisha radaillahu anha,
Even in the state when she would be menstruating,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would recite Qur῾ān while reclining in her lap.

[Source below]

How many times have you rested in the lap of your spouse?
Never trivial,
Each action a sign from above,
Come home and let go,
Rest in the lap of your wife,

Aisha radiallahu anha would comb the hair of Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam,
Aisha radiallahu anha would wash the hair of Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam,

How close are couples these days?
Do spouses yearn to comb one another’s hair?

Aisha radiallahu anha would drink from a cup,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would take this cup,
Search for the place where the lips of his beloved wife made contact,
Upon finding the place where his wife drank from,
He would put his lips on the very same place,

When there was meat to eat,
Aisha radiallahu anha would take a bite,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would take the meat from her hand,
Place his mouth on the very same place where his wife ate from.

[Source below]

Drink from the same cup,
Eat from the same plate,
Bite from the same spot,

Eat together,
Pray together,
Read together,

Often times,
We ignore simple signs,
Kissing one another,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife regularly,
Even while Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam fasted,

[Source below]

Kiss your wife,
Kiss your husband,
While leaving the home,
When upon entering the home,
Show you have missed each other,

If she is working,
Finish the chores,
Kiss her,
While he is finishing a project,
Typing one last work email,
Remind him sincerely,
Kiss him tenderly,

No matter what others say,
Physical intimacy is precious,
Actions speak louder than words,
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) reminded companions,
Having intercourse with your wife is sadaqah,

[Source below]

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam said:
If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it,
When you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.

[Source below]

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean,
He would see to his needs rather than demand his wife,

Without asking,
Husbands should clean the home,
Wash dishes,
Put another load in the dryer,
Help with daily activities,

Don’t demand from one another,
Help one another,
Be considerate of one another,

At night tell your wife stories,
Talk with one another,
Laugh and joke with one another,

Companions laughed,
Reminded one another about the Days of Ignorance,
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would smile so his molars would be seen,

Narrated by Aisha radiallahu anha regarding Umm Zar’,

Marriage is not all business between husband and wife,
Husbands should not call his friends in order to find humor,
Wives should not call friends in order to find humor,

Husband and wife should laugh with one another
Share happy occasions with one another,

Once when the Ethiopians were practicing target shooting in the masjid,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam stood with his wife watching,
Not only did the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stand with his wife,
He put his cloak around her,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam although he had other jobs to do,
He stayed with his wife,
He only left when his wife wanted to leave,

[Source below]

You should be willing to sacrifice errands to spend time with your wife,
Sacrificing time for the sake of Allah (s.w.t),
Create an everlasting love and respect,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam challenged his wives to foot-races,

Don’t forget to call your wife by a beautiful name,
Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would call his wife ‘Humairā’ out of love,

Linguistically it means the little reddish one,
Scholars state that in reality it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun,
They get a reddish tan,
This was the reason why the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam called Aisha (ra) Humairaa’,

[Source below]

Call your wife sweet names,
Show love and affection,

Once the Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into Aisha’s (ra) eyes,
He was gazing at the world within her eyes,
He then said to Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty,
“How white are your eyes.”

[Source below]

Be romantic,
Show attraction,
Show infatuation,

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said:

As my wife adorns herself for me,
I adorn myself for her,
I do not want to take all of my rights from her,
So that she will not take all of her rights from me,
Because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following:

“And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.”

(Qur῾ān 2:228)

[Source below]

Husband and wife should dress to please one another,
Do not look scruffy,
Be neat and tidy,
Wives should wear clothes which please,
Likewise,
Husbands should wear what the wife likes,
Every-time they glance at one another,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume,
He would use perfume constantly,

[Source below]

Husbands and wives should smell good in front of each other,
Look good,
Keep clean,
Compliment one another,
Make sure your hair is tidy,
Beard is neat,
Clean,
Smell pleasant,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others,
As amongst the worst of people,

[Source below]

Whatever occurs between yourself and your spouse,
It should remain between the two of you,
Shameful if the community knows,
Secrets and issues only for Allah (s.w.t),

One of the most forgetful traits of a husband,
If you are asked who do you love the most,

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most,
He replied, “Aisha.”
When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men,
He replied, “Her father.”

Prophet Muhammad salallahu alaihi wasallam could have easily said Abu Bakr,
His answer intelligent and genius,
In one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family,

He exhibited fondness for in-laws,
Imagine how happy his wife Aisha (ra) would have become upon hearing this response?

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was the most romantic man to ever live,
Islam is not meant to be strict, rough, or tough,
Instead, Islam is meant to invite,
It is the best form of love for mankind to accept…

@noor layli salihah

Sources (Hadith and/or Iyat)

[1]وفي صحيح البخاري

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا، قَالَتْ: قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِنِّي لَأَعْلَمُ إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى» قَالَتْ: فَقُلْتُ: مِنْ أَيْنَ تَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ؟ فَقَالَ: ” أَمَّا إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، فَإِنَّكِ تَقُولِينَ: لاَ وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ، وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى، قُلْتِ: لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ” قَالَتْ: قُلْتُ: أَجَلْ وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَا أَهْجُرُ إِلَّا اسْمَكَ (رقم الحديث 5228)

[2] وفي السنن الكبرى

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ: كَانَتْ صَفِيَّةُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي سَفَرٍ، وَكَانَ ذَلِكَ يَوْمَهَا فَأَبْطَأْتُ فِي الْمَسِيرِ، فَاسْتَقْبَلَهَا رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَهِيَ تَبْكِي وَتَقُولُ: «حَمَلْتَنِي عَلَى بَعِيرٍ بَطِيءٍ، فَجَعَلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَمْسَحُ بِيَدَيْهِ عَيْنَيْهَا وُيُسْكِتُهَا(رقم الحديث 9117)

[3] صحيح البخاري

عَائِشَةَ حَدَّثَتْهَا أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «كَانَ يَتَّكِئُ فِي حَجْرِي وَأَنَا حَائِضٌ، ثُمَّ يَقْرَأُ القُرْآنَ» (رقم الحديث 297)

[4]وفي سنن النسائي

قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا تَقُولُ: «كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُنَاوِلُنِي الْإِنَاءَ فَأَشْرَبُ مِنْهُ وَأَنَا حَائِضٌ، ثُمَّ أُعْطِيهِ فَيَتَحَرَّى مَوْضِعَ فَمِي , فَيَضَعُهُ عَلَى فِيهِ» (رقم الحجيث 281)

[5]وفي صحيح مسلم

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا: «أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ كَانَ يُقَبِّلُهَا وَهُوَ صَائِمٌ» فَسَكَتَ سَاعَةً، ثُمَّ قَالَ: نَعَمْ (رقم الحديث 1106)

صحيح البخاري

وَكَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا كَانَ بِاللَّيْلِ سَارَ مَعَ عَائِشَةَ يَتَحَدَّثُ (رقم الحديث 5211)

وفي صحيح ابن حبان

عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، قَالَ: قُلْتُ لِعَائِشَةَ: يَا أُمَّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ، أَيُّ شَيْءٍ كَانَ يَصْنَعُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِذَا كَانَ عِنْدَكِ؟ قَالَتْ: «مَا يَفْعَلُ أَحَدُكُمْ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ، يَخْصِفُ نَعْلَهُ، وَيَخِيطُ ثَوْبَهُ، وَيَرْقَعُ دَلْوَهُ» (1) . [5: 47] (5676)

[6]وفي صحيح مسلم

عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ، أَنَّ نَاسًا مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالُوا لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، ذَهَبَ أَهْلُ الدُّثُورِ بِالْأُجُورِ، يُصَلُّونَ كَمَا نُصَلِّي، وَيَصُومُونَ كَمَا نَصُومُ، وَيَتَصَدَّقُونَ بِفُضُولِ أَمْوَالِهِمْ، قَالَ: ” أَوَلَيْسَ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللهُ لَكُمْ مَا تَصَّدَّقُونَ؟ إِنَّ بِكُلِّ تَسْبِيحَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَكْبِيرَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَحْمِيدَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَكُلِّ تَهْلِيلَةٍ صَدَقَةً، وَأَمْرٌ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ صَدَقَةٌ، وَنَهْيٌ عَنْ مُنْكَرٍ صَدَقَةٌ، وَفِي بُضْعِ أَحَدِكُمْ صَدَقَةٌ، قَالُوا: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، أَيَأتِي أَحَدُنَا شَهْوَتَهُ وَيَكُونُ لَهُ فِيهَا أَجْرٌ؟ قَالَ: «أَرَأَيْتُمْ لَوْ وَضَعَهَا فِي حَرَامٍ أَكَانَ عَلَيْهِ فِيهَا وِزْرٌ؟ فَكَذَلِكَ إِذَا وَضَعَهَا فِي الْحَلَالِ كَانَ لَهُ أَجْرٌ» (رقم الحديث 1006)

[7]وفي صحيح البخاري

وَإِنَّكَ لَنْ تُنْفِقَ نَفَقَةً إِلَّا أُجِرْتَ عَلَيْهَا، حَتَّى اللُّقْمَةَ تَرْفَعُهَا إِلَى فِي امْرَأَتِكَ» (رقم الحديث 6733

[8]مسند أحمد

قَالَ: ابْنُ شِهَابٍ أَخْبَرَنِي عُرْوَةُ بْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ، أَنَّ عَائِشَةَ، قَالَتْ: وَاللهِ لَقَدْ رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُومُ عَلَى بَابِ حُجْرَتِي وَالْحَبَشَةُ يَلْعَبُونَ فِي الْمَسْجِدِ، ” وَرَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَسْتُرُنِي بِرِدَائِهِ لِكَيْ أَنْظُرَ إِلَى لَعِبِهِمْ، ثُمَّ يَقُومُ مِنْ أَجْلِي حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَنَا الَّتِي أَنْصَرِفُ، فَاقْدُرُوا قَدْرَ الْجَارِيَةِ الْحَدِيثَةِ السِّنِّ، الْحَرِيصَةِ عَلَى اللهْوِ ” (رقم الحديث 26358)

[9]وفي سنن إبن ماجه

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، أَنَّهَا قَالَتْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا الشَّيْءُ الَّذِي لَا يَحِلُّ مَنْعُهُ؟ قَالَ: «الْمَاءُ، وَالْمِلْحُ، وَالنَّارُ» ، قَالَتْ: قُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ هَذَا الْمَاءُ قَدْ عَرَفْنَاهُ، فَمَا بَالُ الْمِلْحِ وَالنَّارِ؟ قَالَ: «يَا حُمَيْرَاءُ مَنْ أَعْطَى نَارًا، فَكَأَنَّمَا تَصَدَّقَ بِجَمِيعِ مَا أَنْضَجَتْ تِلْكَ النَّارُ (رقم الحديث 2474)

وفي مصباح الزجاجة في شرح سنن إبن ماجه

يَا حميراء الخ قَالَ فِي النِّهَايَة الْحُمَيْرَاء تَصْغِير الْحَمْرَاء يُرِيد الْبَيْضَاء (ج 1 ص 178 قديمي كتب خانه)

قَالَ الْقُرْطُبِيُّ قِيلَ مَعْنَى حَمْرَاءِ الشِّدْقَيْنِ بَيْضَاءُ الشَّدْقَيْنِ وَالْعرب تطلق على الْأَبْيَض الْأَحْمَر كرهة اسْمِ الْبَيَاضِ لِكَوْنِهِ يُشْبِهُ الْبَرَصَ وَلِهَذَا كَانَ صلى الله عَلَيْهِ وَسلم يَقُول لعَائِشَة ياحميراء (ج 7 ص 140 دار المعرفة)

[10]وفي كتاب الفوائد

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لِعَائِشَةَ ذَاتَ يَوْمٍ: «مَا أَكْثَرَ بَيَاضَ عَيْنَيْكِ»(رقم الحديث 796)

[11]وفي مصنف إبن أبي شيبة

عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ: ” إِنِّي أُحِبُّ أَنْ أَتَزَيَّنَ لِلْمَرْأَةِ، كَمَا أُحِبُّ أَنْ تَتَزَيَّنَ لِي الْمَرْأَةُ، لِأَنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى يَقُولُ: {وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ} [البقرة: 228] (رقم الحديث 19263)

[12]وفي سنن أبي داود

عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، قَالَ: «كَانَتْ لِلنَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ سُكَّةٌ يَتَطَيَّبُ مِنْهَا» (رقم الحديث 4162)

[13]وفي صحيح مسلم

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِنَّ مِنْ أَشَرِّ النَّاسِ عِنْدَ اللهِ مَنْزِلَةً يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ، الرَّجُلَ يُفْضِي إِلَى امْرَأَتِهِ، وَتُفْضِي إِلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ يَنْشُرُ سِرَّهَا» (رقم الحديث 1437)

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