Your Right, I Lost My Culture. X and Y Chromosomes Overdosed. Mother Wrote Suicide Notes But Islam Saves And I’m A Slave

Not allowed to despise you,
Only can love you,

‘Surely We have revealed to you,
The Book with the truth,
Therefore serve Allah,
Being sincere to Him in obedience.’

(Holy Qur’an, 39:2)

Can’t change,
Can’t perform miracles,
Can only be me,
Can only express what Allah (s.w.t) gave me,

When I was younger,
Told to think wonders,
Woke up every morning with the house smelling of gas,
Mother passed out not wearing a mask,
Stove top hot,
Needles sticking in,

She wrote a note every night,
Diagnosed with schizophrenia,
Pardon my french,
Bull$hit if I ain’t got a culture,
Little one holding mother’s hand,
Learned how to read from daily suicide notes,

‘Never meant to hurt’ mother said,
She continued, ‘your the man of the house’,
‘Your meant to turn 18′,
She overdosed barely 35,

Played with guns before I learned how to walk,
Fumbled needles as they danced along the trash can’s edge,
Kept her warm,
Pulled covers up to her neck,
She died anyways,

Read Quran,
“And who is better in speech then he who invites to Allaah,
Meaning, Islamic monotheism and does righteous deeds,
And says; `I am one of the Muslims`”

[Quran 41:33]

Remember being young,
Turning 16,
Lied to my adopted parents,
Went back home,
Ran into drugs, thugs, and guns,
Muslim by title,
Action despicable,
God sent His message,

Days under starry nights,
Waiting for girls to be dropped off,
Passing out protection,
Sisters didn’t end up with STD’s,

Heart grabbed a compass,
Pointing in the same direction,
I was meant to pray,

From dusk till dawn,
I know what Islam is worth,
Willing to post,
Combat failures,
Allah’s (s.w.t) and Prophet Muhammad’s (pbuh) opinion,
Words of my Shahada,
I am one of the Muslims,

“And speak to him [i.e., Pharaoh] with gentle speech,
That perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allaah].”

[Quran 20: 44]

Not one of the greatest,
My speech isn’t perfect,
Soft touch,
Mother’s touch,
Lost that a long time ago,

Father didn’t grab a brush,
Broken bottles in a rush,
Battered bottles,
Bruises covering ribs,
Learned how to judge,
Kept space in between

Witnessed all the eye can witness,
Pertaining to injustice,
Buried kids whose life taken,
Empty stomachs,
Rib-cages protruding,
Mother HIV positive,
Child died at birth,

Ever watch a drone drop,
Never lost in memory,
Pictures never lie,
Crying nightly…

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
Certainly there is a reality of every truth,
And a servant cannot reach the reality of Ikhlas,
Unless he doesn’t like people to praise him,
For the actions he has done (only) for the sake of God.

[Al-Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 72, p.304, hadith 51]

I ain’t a saint,
If one has to say,
Don’t praise me,
Day in and day out,
Establishing prayer,

If one part of the Ummah hurts,
We all hurt,
Want what is good for my brother,

Allah says in Surah 67, verse 2,
“That He might try you (to see),
Which of you is fairest in works.”

All I want is Allah (s.w.t) to see your works,
Reminding you everyday of what was yesterday,
Out of love until the day I see tomorrow,
Bringing different news,
Yesterday not the same as today,

If one judged,
Know my past,
Islam is not a religion,
It is a way of life,

Meant to serve everyday as a new day,
Christians once a week,
Muslims everyday,

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:
The person who devotes himself sincerely to God for forty days,
Streams of wisdom will flow from his heart to his tongue.

[Al-Suyuti, al-Durr al-Manthur, vol.2, p. 237]

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