Rebel (English 461)

I wake up pissed off,
Asked to follow contorted cultural laws wrapped around heads,
Words stapled to the top of mouths,
Honesty reflected from the right side of the Panama Canal,
Left side of our cheek drops tears while our eyes tear jerk eye-lashes,

Asked how you are doing?
I’m fine,
Really, really, I’m good,

Asked, how are you doing?
I am walking in quicksand with lambs meant to slaughter,
Or…
Am I the lamb they mean to slaughter?

We are striking the counter waiting for pain to break Cane,
Cain presumed Able not able to wish,
Wishing pressure from Asthmatic attacks releases air but obtaining air,

Rebel without a cause,
Presumed happy when Meds kick our head up,
Chin down when we sleep less,
Night-less hours with our neck arched,
Back aches when fire inches closer and heaven drifts,

Resolutions designed articulating small choices,
Rough edges,
Pretending walking in Jordan’s not stretching,
Prostrating in total darkness,
Procrastinating castration from our image against mirrors in total darkness,

Rebels without regard to robotic movements prefer silence,
When we bite our fingernails to the tip of blood thirsty heavens,
Waking up in the morning with our pride hanging from our window,
Telephone wires walked on without regard to possible death,

Depression is small acts of survival against rebellious attitudes,
Beatitudes promote a promiscuous woman soliciting wells,
Playing picture games acting out the amount of time we wash ourselves clean,
Taking 5 showers and not feeling clean,

I had been walking yesterday when someone told me to pray,
Prelude to the morning of,
Nothing left at the bottom of the Vicodin bottle,
Forgot to put on my socks but attended a meeting with the Rum bottle,

Depression is a rebel without a cause,
Finally going to sleep,
Waking up leaving others before they leave you,
Putting on a clown face losing your circus abilities,

That morning I had left my front door open,
Walked out realizing depression is taking reflection,
Fancy-ing wrinkles in the mirror before shattering becomes contestable,
Rebel without a cause is when you wake up so pissed off,
Constant state of memorizing morning fixtures hanging from the ceiling,

Depression is feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world,
Breaking into your parents pharmacy,
Mistaking the Viagra bottle with the Zoloft bottle,
Consuming endless rounds of ‘thanks for nothing’ looks walking down the street,
Depression is when a rebel hates,
Drinking endless amounts of water sacrificing drowning,

Opening his or her eyes,
Grabbing the mic and staring at your paper,
Eyes without ears,
Not able to understand only listening,

Depression is when a rebel without a cause,
Constructs depression at a poetry reading,

Which is why.
This poem has no ending…

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